Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair
dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from
parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine,
and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the
parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired
in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless
gown.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
When having sex, only the missionary position is
legal.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on
Thursdays.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes
per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or
saucers.
Oral sex is illegal.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another
person.
Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live
together in the same residence.
Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance,
and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
It is illegal to sell your children.
The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a
trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in
cages.
Florida City Laws
Big Pine Key
It
is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be
fined or will have to go to jail.
Broward
County
Persons may not be "inappropriately attired" who work at
hot dog stands.
Cape Coral
It
is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside
on a clothesline.
It
it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in
front of your house on the street. This law is limited to
only those who do not own the house.
Cape Coral
City
A
$50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to
sit in their carport. (Passed June 2002)
Daytona
Beach
The molestation of trash cans is banned.
Maintaining a car on your property which is no longer in
use is prohibited.
Owning a flower pot with water in it that isn't capable of
draining is considered a public nuisance.
Hialeah
Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
Key West
Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
Longwood
There got to be
one?
Naples
Neon signs are prohibited.
Palm Bay
Persons may not tow a sled behind their bicycles.
Pensacola
Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10
dollars on their person.
It
is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up
according to the contents of the barrel.
A
women can be fined (only after death), for being
electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using
self-beautification utensils.
Sanford
Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide"
theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results
in a $100 fine.
Sarasota
If
you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.
You may not catch crabs.
Satellite
Beach
Beer may not be sold between 2 a.m. and 7 a.m.
Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex.
Seaside
All houses much have white picket fences and full-width,
two-story porches.
Tampa
Women may not expose their breasts while performing
"topless dancing".
Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a
patron.
